Stressed up and frustrated

We just had a ‘confrontation’ just now, and just like always, it’s not even about me, it’s about his mom. But it was enough of an excuse for him to make me feel worthless. I did not even utter a syllable and got to my room. Honestly, I just don’t know what to say, my mind was blank. Maybe ‘he’ is right, I am really an idiot. Even when I got to my room, my heart ceased to stop hitting on my chest, and my hands were cold and trembling slightly, and I felt sweat drops gathering on my forehead.

I don’t want to feel small, so I tried to focus on something else, I went to Facebook. I used to be interested in having a peek in other people’s life, but this time I simply cannot. The more I looked at the people smiling in the photos, the more I felt nervous. My vision kept on wavering, and I kept on telling myself, ‘he’ wasn’t even mad at me, but I can’t help it. I really hate being like this, I really really hate this feeling.

Now that I’ve calmed down a bit, I start to wonder, is there any other families experiencing this? I am pretty sure there is, probably even worse. I don't know why am I making such a big deal out of this. Oh well, I sincerely hope that my future family will be free of all this 'drama'.

On the bright side, I feel much better after writing this, the lump in my throat is still there though, but I guess it’ll be fine soon.

First time skating (Y)

Two years after graduating from high school, I am sadly not interested in meeting up with my former classmates, except my two best friends. So, when one of them invited me to skate, I can’t refuse right? And, when she invites people that I am not really interested to meet, I still shouldn’t refuse right? I’m not saying that it is not fun, hell, it is damningly fun, and the two old classmates turned out to be better persons that I thought they were.

Everything was fine… until my ass realized it’s affection to the icy ground. And so, here I am, sitting on the bench outside of the ice rink, back completely straight, like I am expecting someone, except I’m not, because I can’t lean on my lower back. And that is when I start realizing something important: the best first date ever, would be the ice skating rink, IF your date is a novice like me. If not, just give up.

It’s very much logical, because, speaking from experience (that I gained just now), holding hands is unavoidable. It is because, idiots like me, get bored easily by simply skirting the rink while clutching on the sides of the rink for our dear lives, we love to wander, and be adventurous. But we can’t do that, with the fear of breaking our bones, so, we hold onto another person. See where is this going?

Furthermore, I’m not sure if this happens to other people, but it happened to me, when we are in the middle of the rink, when the sides are far far away, holding hands might not be enough. In my case, I lost control of my skates and they moved inwards, causing me to twist, to save myself, I hugged my partner, which is my best friend (don’t think too much). Rather sadly for me, this happened to me for more than once. But imagine what if it is a young couple. Just glance at the strings of possibility.

So, this is the time when I start missing my mobile phone, and cursed myself over and over again for suggesting getting a locker. But I swear that I am NOT going back into the rink, unless they dry up the ice again. Aaand I broke my promise to myself in not more than 10 minutes, I’m just that gutsy (restless).