My Cheezeness

Riding on my bicycle, I felt the wind and smelled rust, the scent of blood.

“What is it?” he smiled to me from across the table, gently sipping his tea.
“Nothing,” I replied as coldly as I could, but I can’t.
He sighed and looked at me, as if he wants to say something, but he stopped himself. I thought I felt his pain, but I don’t know if it’s real anymore. 

I had a walk in the garden in the evening alone; he went out for a meeting. I looked at the flower that resembled love.
“Why does love hurt so much?” I mumbled to the flower.
“Because of the thorns,” a voice spoke from behind.
“Back so soon?” I tried to stay calm. It’s a shame that I feel anxious whenever he’s around.
“Yes,” he picked up my hand gently and brought me to a bench. He made me sit beside him, and he gestured the servants to leave. I scooted as far away from him as possible, but he pulled me to him anyway. I was going to protest when he hugged me tightly, in his arms. My world became a blur, it started to whirl, and an old numb feeling started rushing through my nerves. Then a voice told me to push him away, and I did, very softly. 

He pressed me towards him even harder now as he felt my push. “Please, just one minute,” his tone is filled with despair. My hands slowly moved to his back, and I hugged him back. I simply wish to make him feel better again. I closed my eyes slowly, trying to block out the outside world. I want to be with him, and only him. Gradually, images started intruding my mind. I remember the first time we hold our hands, the first time he showed me his magic, the first time I showed him a soul, the first time we dance under the moon, the first time we kissed, and the last time we smiled together. 

When I opened my eyes again, my sight is misted with tears. He pulled me away from him, but still locking my shoulders. He looked right into my eyes, he frowned. He carefully landed his lips on my forehead, and let go of me. He then put on his masking smile and stood up, “I need to attend to… something, see you tomorrow morning.” And he walked away. Subconsciously, I ran to his side and gripped on his hand. He looked at me, surprised by my sudden action. But he recovered within seconds and squeezed my hand in his.